Go Coconuts!

This morning, when I called home, my mom was telling about a new superstition going around in the town! Whoever has son(s), should break a coconut at the main entrance of their homes! The number of coconuts to be broken is proportional to the number of sons one has. My mom was reluctant to do it (my years of brain washing has good effect on her; she is more rational now than she was 20 years ago). However, my peddamma (my mom's elder sister) called her and literally forced her to break the coconuts. My mom finally relented. What can she do? The rumor is, if you don't follow this ritual something bad will come upon the sons. And you know the mothers, they cannot allow or even listen about anything bad happening to their dear sons! But anyway, my mom didn't break 3 coconuts (we are three brothers, so "technically" she has to break 3 coconuts) but broke only one! That way she balanced between her rationalism and my peddamma's sentiments (I don't want to call her superstitious)!

I then watched the news, and thanks to this superstition the coconut price went up to Rs 100. Normally they are about Rs 10 per piece! And most of the streets are full of these broken coconuts broken by the dear mommas for the good of their dear sons! You are not supposed to eat them either after breaking! So, you can't even make a burfi or a chutney! What a waste that too in a land where 50% population don't get a square meal. I don't know how these things get started and everyone so faithfully obliges them.

Not long ago, in Bombay we had people drinking water from a near by Dargah (burial place of a Muslim saint at the seaside of Arabian Sea), . This water (Mahim Creek) is one of the most filthiest and most contaminated waters in India. About 1000 million liters of sewage flows into it every day! But the hysteric people not only gulped it but fed it even to little babies! Then the next day, all the deities in the Hindu temples in northern part of India started drinking milk! The price for a liter of milk went up to Rs 500! This is the second time this is happening. In 1995 it was Lord Ganesh drinking milk! Well, the Christians can't be left behind! Virgin Mary started shedding tears in a church in Cochin, Kerala. Then a image of the Hindu saint Shirdi Sai Baba appeared in the seepage spots of a multi-storied building wall in Gujarat. And so it goes.......

Then we have those strange rituals - all in the name of religion. Forget about walking on smoldering ambers or whipping yourselves till you bleed! A temple (Sri Mahalakshmi temple) at Mettumahadanapuram (hope I got the name right; I think it's in Tamil Nadu) has a head-breaking ritual, literally! The chief priest of this temple breaks coconuts on heads of devotees as part of their fulfilment of vow. The devotees sustain bleeding injuries but they just rub in turmeric (of course, it's antiseptic) and vibhuti! Luckily this ritual is part of the two-day annual festival (occurs in August) and doesn't happen throughout the year!

Watching, reading, listening to all these, I was thinking why not exploit these superstitions for a good or noble cause. So, I compiled a list of "to-dos". For everything put a clause - "if you don't fulfill these something very bad will happen in your family within 8 nights"! We should be careful to make them sound as religious as possible (that's why use numbers like 8, 3; days like Friday, etc.) else there won't be any followers! So here is a list:

1. All able-bodied persons should sweep at least half a kilometer road otherwise within 8 nights the eldest person in the house will fall sick! Lord Vishnu is upset because of all the filth and dosen't want to stay in the temples on earth anymore.
2. Everyone should feed at least 5 beggars for 5 weeks every Friday or else the little babies in the family will fall sick!
3. The Vana Devi (Goddess of Forests) is very angry. To please her, everyone over 21 years should plant at least 3 trees and look after them for 1 year!
4. This is the year of Goddess Saraswati, every household should either donate money or books to the libraries. Otherwise, your sons/daughters will not get an Engineering/Medicine seat or they will get low GRE/TOEFL score!
5. Goddess Mahakali is very angry because people are killing all the goats and chicken and Her lion has no food! So everyone should stop slaughtering goats or chicken. May be this is a bit far-fetched and sounds made up. But no harm in giving it a try. Viva vegetarianism!
6. Whoever reads this must tell the above 5 to at least 5 people otherwise within 5 days something evil will happen to their dear ones!